A Rose by any other name

by Cin on June 24, 2010

She is sweet and her name actually is Rose and she is my dear friend. She is lively and fun. She is silly and sweet. She’s creative and considerate. She is strong and smart. She is a Kindred Spirit who adds an extra spark of life everywhere she goes. Everyone I know likes her. I mean, what’s not to like?

Lots, according to her mother-in-law, and that’s a sad thing. She finds fault constantly, criticizing everything from Rose’s housekeeping to her cooking, but most of all her personality.

“I find it amazing that you have any friends at all, Rose.”


Her visits are dreaded events, just anticipating them makes Rose physically ill. She’s tried everything from bending over backwards to please the woman, to trying to defend herself, to just trying to put on a happy face and pretending everything’s all right.

Bless her heart, Rose keeps trying to figure this out. What on earth did she do to make this woman so unhappy with her? Is she really a bad person underneath? How can she fix it?

The bottom line is this: Just because someone doesn’t like you doesn’t make you a bad person. And while you can sometimes influence other people in a positive (or negative way), you are not to blame for their inability to love you the way you deserve.

You do your best. You be nice. You examine your own behavior and see if somehow you’re contributing to the problem and try to fix it. But there comes a point where you have to realize that sometimes it really is them, not you.

So hang in there, sweetie. Be your normal, cheerful, wonderful self as much as you can manage to be. And pity the poor woman who can’t stop and enjoy the Roses.

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